a nanny no longer

The nannying is over, the nannying is done, 

I have minimal responsibilities as school hasn't begun.

Taking care of kids is a much harder job than you think until you actually do it. You, essentially, are a mom without the mom power. You have no control over how the house runs, how the kids were brought up. Factor in being in the suburbs without a car and that leaves a lot of quality together time in a house that is concurrently having the air conditioning, refrigerator and alarm systems repaired and a pool built.

And what people forget is that nannying is a nine-to-five, real job (well, 7.30-to-5.30, but who's counting). I'd never had one of those before. It. is. hard. Knowing that at the end of every day you have  a few hours before you need to sleep and then get up and do it all over again. And again. And although, yeah, sometimes I got to do fun things like go to the pool or get ice cream, I paid for it by the hours spent refereeing, arguing, laying down the law, setting time outs, and playing endless, endless games of two-room hide-and-seek.

I'll admit, I was envious of other friends who nannied this summer. Who got kids who were precocious, sweet, and inquisitive. Who asked questions about heaven and God and right and wrong. I was even envious of some of the kids' friends who came over, kids who were better mannered and frankly more interesting.

I got kids whose only interests were softball and television, who hated reading (and their required reading time), who acted four and seven but were actually ten and twelve, who fought constantly, who didn't listen. who refused to eat anything healthy, who didn't ever want to do anything.

I learned a lot about love and patience this summer. Its easy to show love to a child who is a mini version of yourself. Yes, I probably would have had more fun with kids who loved The Chronicles of Narnia, who liked helping me bake, who wanted to color and create things, who were inventive.

My daily challenge was being patient and understanding with the kids. I got a letter from a friend (and fellow nanny) in which she reminded me how vulnerable kids are how things that seem small are a much bigger deal when you're that age.

So I tried putting myself in their shoes. And I remembered that I always wanted to watch a lot more TV than I got to. And isn't that what summer's about? Getting to do more of what you want than during the school year? I conceded that between softball practice every night, the hundred degree weather and the fact that their backyard was a construction zone, they weren't missing out on a classic childhood summer by staying inside. I compromised by letting them watch TV in the morning while we all woke up and had breakfast, but we had to get out of the house at some point during the day.

My resolve to be eternally kind and understanding didn't always work. Actually, it usually didn't, especially with the twins. But when faced with children (almost ten year olds, mind you) who bite and punch each other in the face and laugh about it, who showed their frustrations by secretly calling their parents at work, who would do things like get a fork for the other one and say "now you owe me", who would bring up things from six months ago as grounds for current retaliation, who broke down in public places when it was time to leave and started throwing their clothes in the pool, who blatantly lied to me, I think it would have taken a saint not to.

They occasionally had their moments, though. I will try and remember things like taking them to the aquarium, playing with Nerf guns, decorating cupcakes for their tenth birthday instead of the screaming matches.

Cupcakes for the birthday kids and their friend Grace 

DeLayne, CassiDee, and Corey

Me, Corey, and CassiDee at the Georgia Aquarium 

I hope I made some kind of lasting impression on them. I tried so hard to make it clear that they could do better, they could behave better, and they would have to in school. I prayed that if my words were ever hurtful that they just wouldn't hear them.

What I got most from this experience was 1) respect for stay at home moms and 2) gratefulness for my own parents and how well they raised me. It is an impossible job.

Also, an encyclopaedic knowledge of Phineas and Ferb, Zeke and Luther, Shake It Up and any other show on Disney XD before ten AM. 

I'm really going to enjoy my two weeks off.  


And in a small departure from my normal music selections, I proudly present:
Lauren's List of Top Songs That Disney/Nickelodeon Specifically Engineered to Get Stuck in One's Head and Make One Feel Ridiculous for Singing Songs Meant for Seven Year Olds:
Best Friend's Brother --Victoria Justice
We Burnin' Up--Adam Hicks
Famous--Big Time Rush
The theme songs to most shows
Now you too can spend hours banging your head against a wall because that one song is just too dang catchy.