a nanny no longer

The nannying is over, the nannying is done, 

I have minimal responsibilities as school hasn't begun.

Taking care of kids is a much harder job than you think until you actually do it. You, essentially, are a mom without the mom power. You have no control over how the house runs, how the kids were brought up. Factor in being in the suburbs without a car and that leaves a lot of quality together time in a house that is concurrently having the air conditioning, refrigerator and alarm systems repaired and a pool built.

And what people forget is that nannying is a nine-to-five, real job (well, 7.30-to-5.30, but who's counting). I'd never had one of those before. It. is. hard. Knowing that at the end of every day you have  a few hours before you need to sleep and then get up and do it all over again. And again. And although, yeah, sometimes I got to do fun things like go to the pool or get ice cream, I paid for it by the hours spent refereeing, arguing, laying down the law, setting time outs, and playing endless, endless games of two-room hide-and-seek.

I'll admit, I was envious of other friends who nannied this summer. Who got kids who were precocious, sweet, and inquisitive. Who asked questions about heaven and God and right and wrong. I was even envious of some of the kids' friends who came over, kids who were better mannered and frankly more interesting.

I got kids whose only interests were softball and television, who hated reading (and their required reading time), who acted four and seven but were actually ten and twelve, who fought constantly, who didn't listen. who refused to eat anything healthy, who didn't ever want to do anything.

I learned a lot about love and patience this summer. Its easy to show love to a child who is a mini version of yourself. Yes, I probably would have had more fun with kids who loved The Chronicles of Narnia, who liked helping me bake, who wanted to color and create things, who were inventive.

My daily challenge was being patient and understanding with the kids. I got a letter from a friend (and fellow nanny) in which she reminded me how vulnerable kids are how things that seem small are a much bigger deal when you're that age.

So I tried putting myself in their shoes. And I remembered that I always wanted to watch a lot more TV than I got to. And isn't that what summer's about? Getting to do more of what you want than during the school year? I conceded that between softball practice every night, the hundred degree weather and the fact that their backyard was a construction zone, they weren't missing out on a classic childhood summer by staying inside. I compromised by letting them watch TV in the morning while we all woke up and had breakfast, but we had to get out of the house at some point during the day.

My resolve to be eternally kind and understanding didn't always work. Actually, it usually didn't, especially with the twins. But when faced with children (almost ten year olds, mind you) who bite and punch each other in the face and laugh about it, who showed their frustrations by secretly calling their parents at work, who would do things like get a fork for the other one and say "now you owe me", who would bring up things from six months ago as grounds for current retaliation, who broke down in public places when it was time to leave and started throwing their clothes in the pool, who blatantly lied to me, I think it would have taken a saint not to.

They occasionally had their moments, though. I will try and remember things like taking them to the aquarium, playing with Nerf guns, decorating cupcakes for their tenth birthday instead of the screaming matches.

Cupcakes for the birthday kids and their friend Grace 

DeLayne, CassiDee, and Corey

Me, Corey, and CassiDee at the Georgia Aquarium 

I hope I made some kind of lasting impression on them. I tried so hard to make it clear that they could do better, they could behave better, and they would have to in school. I prayed that if my words were ever hurtful that they just wouldn't hear them.

What I got most from this experience was 1) respect for stay at home moms and 2) gratefulness for my own parents and how well they raised me. It is an impossible job.

Also, an encyclopaedic knowledge of Phineas and Ferb, Zeke and Luther, Shake It Up and any other show on Disney XD before ten AM. 

I'm really going to enjoy my two weeks off.  


And in a small departure from my normal music selections, I proudly present:
Lauren's List of Top Songs That Disney/Nickelodeon Specifically Engineered to Get Stuck in One's Head and Make One Feel Ridiculous for Singing Songs Meant for Seven Year Olds:
Best Friend's Brother --Victoria Justice
We Burnin' Up--Adam Hicks
Famous--Big Time Rush
The theme songs to most shows
Now you too can spend hours banging your head against a wall because that one song is just too dang catchy.

a lazy sunday

perfect weather (for the first all summer) + recovering from the first late late night I'd had in a while + hanging out with two amazing girls + reading up on the emerging GOP candidates because I am a dork + watching ridiculous TV shows + running + new music + finding out my car should be back by Thursday (fingers crossed) + lots of my little projects/long term plans coming together + great sermon in church today  = good weekend and the perfect cap to a wonderful two week vacation.

back to work tomorrow--hopefully it will go well and I will be able to come up with activities for the kiddos.

Listening to:

The Civil Wars. I've had their music for a while but I never got around to listening to them--they're fantastic. 

Also, I have this thing where I create playlists for very specific sub-genres of music. The songs have to fit a certain mood or have a feel to them that matches the others. I keep these four song playlists around for years with no change and then one day, bam!, I'll hear a song and go "Wow, that's absolutely perfect for my nordic lighthouse playlist!"

 One of my favorites I have christened "Bluesy Harmonica Put to Good Use". Most of the songs do have harmonica, but in general they're folksy-bluesy-alt rock songs with stomp to them that simultaneously remind me of Cold Mountain and taking a road trip through the Carolinas. And with my (re)discovery of the Civil Wars, there is a new addition! Fair warning, if you don't like the first track, you won't like the rest of 'em. 

Barton Hollow--The Civil Wars

Believer--Viva Voce

Follow Suit--Trent Dabbs

Wagon Wheel (cover)--Against Me

Complicated Shadows--Elvis Costello

Fault Line--Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Done All Wrong--Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

The Civil Wars--Barton Hollow

weekend update

so titled after what used to be the seth-and-amy slot of SNL, its little snippets of the weekend. cut short since i'm leaving the land of internet access tomorrow.

this weekend:

i took the twins to the georgia aquarium

we saw dolphins and belugas and the seemingly identical harbor seals/river otters/sea otters

i came down with some sort of twenty-four hour bug (right before we left for the aquarium--not fun)

i cancelled all my weekend plans

i slept for sixteen solid hours

i woke up, read travel memoirs, and subsisted on juice my mommy brought me for the rest of the day

i got an unexpected but not altogether unsurprising letter

i packed

i turned down an internship opportunity for next fall since it would have taken too much of my time (anyone know of a, say, four-hour internship per week? kay thanks)

i saw the trailer for the next pixar movie:

And now I wish my hair was this wild and red and curly. Also I'm psyched for old-school Pixar to be back.

And tomorrow, I'm headed off to South Dakota and Santa Barbara (what, you don't plan midwest/california coast combo vacations?) to see the grandparents and relax. 

Happy half-way-through-the weekend, everyone!
Listening to: Go (the album), Jonsi

nannying has gotten the best of me this week. i've become this mean yelling person. but seriously, they just keep hitting each other. all the time. shouting is the only thing that has any kind of effect. bribing doesn't even work, they can't do the whole delayed-gratification thing. and then today, a miracle happened. 

they actually wanted to go outside and play.

so we went to the playground and played. and collected rocks. we saw a bottle rocket launch in the nearby field. and sat in the grass and ate our snacks. another small miracle happened and the younger boy and girl voluntarily shared their snacks without being asked to. and then we came home and decorated our rocks. 

granted, they still whined about really, really ridiculous things ("but i wanted the rock that CassiDee took!" "DeLayne told me how she made this color and when i tried it, it didn't work! make her go to time out!") and were constantly slapping each other, but today i finally got them to do something that i thought was (at least in my mind) a central part of childhood.

and tomorrow we're going to the aquarium. and then i have two glorious weeks off.

The kiddos' creativity mainly comes in the form of supporting various sports teams

Listening to: "The Way I Am", Ingrid Michaelson. (I have no idea why, but babysitting always makes me think of her music). 

{on adulthood}

This whole having-a-job-business has some definite downsides. 

I do not like getting up at 6:30 everyday. For some perspective: the last semester my earliest class (and that was only three days a week) was at 9:15. I usually rolled out of bed at 8:55.

I do not like having to go to bed at 10:30 in order to get up at 6:30.

I do not like having approximately two hours to do anything non-job related.

I do not like the bit of nannying that involves being a mom with no actual mom clout. 

I do not like having to deal with the pettiness, squabbling, and utter lack of compassion that defines fourth grade siblings.

But it also has some upsides.

I like having something to do each day (especially now that my car is sitting sadly in a body shop somewhere).

I like having cash flow.

I like that sometimes my job involves fun stuff like playing hide-and-seek, having pillow fights, and going to the pool. 

Pancakeapalooza

{From top left: chocolate with chocolate chip, banana nut, cinnamon walnut,
blueberry, blueberry-oatmeal-wheatgerm-nut, and banana}

Normally, I don't like making things from mixes unless I'm in a hurry. However, I had a revelation: all that it takes to make 'special' pancakes is whatever the ingredient is. Some pancake mix, some milk, couple eggs, and {what have you}. It's like pancake improv.
Naturally, I assumed the kiddos I nanny for would love homemade pancakes. My offer was met with blank stares and "Uh....we just want the frozen ones."
Well, I will enjoy delicious pancakes. And so will my family.